I'm not Jealous because

I'm not Jealous because of your beautiful blond hair with perfect curles, or your friends perfectly straight hair.
I'm not Jealous because of your blue eyes while mine are a dull brown.
I'm  not Jealous because you are developed more and look like your twenty, while I look my age.
I'm not Jealous because of your confidence, or your gifts, because I have mine too.
I'm jealous because you fit in. People accept you for who you are, while I'm left wondering what I've done wrong.
I'm jealous because you always seem happy when I'm falling apart.
I'm jealous that when you cry, you have immediate people to lean on, while mine is miles away.
I'm jealous.
But, maybe I'm not
Maybe your hair isn't always in ringlets or perfectly straight, maybe you feel self concious or fine about yourself.
You know what? If golden hair perfectly straight or ringlets is what I need to have what I envy, then I don't want it. I don't want a lie.
I don't want bright blue eyes, when behind those eyes I know I'm being used.
I don't want to look more developed, because behind that, I'm used yet again.
I don't want your gifts and talents, because you know what? I have mine!
I don't want to fit in, because all of you are the same.
I don't want to seem happy, when my entire life is a lie.
I don't want to cry on someone's shoulder in public, and be alone when in private. I wouldn't give my true friend for the world.
So, maybe, I'm not as Jealous as I thought.
I'm not Jealous, because I'm not used. I live the truth, I am myself not who you want me to be.
So, I guess what I'm saying is, I don't want to be you, I just want to be me.
If you ever need anything, I'm always here.
And that is the honest truth, because, I'm not Jealous anymore.

Dear little girl just like me.

Dear little girl just like me.
Today I watched as you played with the other children., running around with the boys and tackling a ball, You are part of their world, but you're also part of mine. You are both a boy and girl in one and often others misunderstand that. Just because you're a girl doesn't mean you can't play football, and just because you play football doesn't mean you're not a girl. You are stuck in between and I understand it well. I watch as you try to fit into both worlds. You eventually give up and run with the boys not caring what the repercussions might be. Now you're older and you want to fit in. You still like to run, and jump, and play with boys, but now you're maturing and entering a new world. Your identity is stuck to you. You're just like the other boys now. Often you are complimented on how well you tackle a ball, and seldom your looks. I watch your face drop as you watch the other girls told things you are not. I understand it, I understand it all. You look for recognition for more than just your affiliation, yet you find none. I watched your face light up when I called you over, I'm only a few years older than you. 
But when I look at you, I don't see a boy, not even a girl, but a beautiful young lady behind that smile. You're beautiful, and not to be compared to. I watched as your face lit up when you were told "You're Beautiful." And when you ran off a skip was in your step, and you were happier that day. 
You see you're not alone, I know how you feel. You're not rejected nor catagorized in a boys field. You are a girl with a great personality, beautiful looks, and a whole life ahead of you. 
So next time you think that your not pretty and smart, just remember what I told you and look to you're heart. 
Dear little girl who is just like me. I hope you take this to heart and learn to be free. 

Promotion: Out of the Darkness fundraiser

Hello, one of my close friends is holding a fundraiser for 'Out of the Darkness' mission. Please donate to the cause it would make her so happy. And help hundreds of kids with Depressant and Suicidal backgrounds!
Donate Here:
https://fundly.com/stop-suicide-lt-3

-Sapphire

I celebrate Christmas and Easter, but not Halloween. Why?

I have heard so many people state that they don't celebrate Halloween because it is a pagan holiday meant to condone evil. I will respect their decision. But I don't like it when people give me weird looks because I go dress up as an elf at a church harvest part on the 31st. 
Let's get this straight, what is the difference between Halloween, Christmas and Easter?
Most Christians would respond, Satan is the first. Jesus is the second two. WRONG!!!!
In reality all of these holidays celebrate paganism! Christmas is Drewid!!! And now it's about presents! Easter is also Pagan, and is about big feasts! Halloween is Pagan also! So what's the difference?
Hypothetically, all of these holidays have a christian spin on it. Christmas is Jesus's birthday. Easter is his resurrection. Halloween is all saints eve, remembering OUR brethren. Things once evil made good. Even though I disagree with what goes on in the materialistic side of each holiday. I believe that if people are going to make a big deal about something, make sure you know the facts, and make sure you apply the same logic to everything.
Thanks!

Relationships: Boy friend vs. Boy Friend

Over the past year and a half, I have become close friends with a few guys. Every time I do so someone has always asked me. "Are you two a couple?" or "Is he your Boy Friend?". No, I don't date, and I'm not in a relationship. I have Boy friends but not a Boy Friend. What is the difference between a Boy friends and a Boy Friend? A Boy friend is merely a close friend that is a guy. It's like calling your best friend your Girl friend. But you actually aren't in a relationship closer than a friendship. Now, what is a Boy Friend? A Boy Friend is like a significant other. Nothing less than a sweet heart. 
Now that these two have been defined. What's the deal?
As a teenage blogger. I look around and see CHILDREN my age dating. I have seen more broken hearts in the people I have seen having a BF or GF than in anyone who is Single. 
Anywho, I believe we should contrast the two.
A Boy friend is wonderful to have. They are not binded to you, yet they hang around! you can talk to them about personal issues instead, and you trust them. Often people with bast friends of the opposite gender are misconceived as having multiple significant others. When in reality, they are comforatable around the other gender and are willing to remain just friends. Who knows? Maybe the Boy friend with eventually become your Boy Friend!
Now, what about a Boy Friend? This guy is binded to you. Any actions he does around girls can be seen as cheating. And it stresses the relationship. You can't truly be comfortable around the opposite sex, without worrying about cheating.
Therefore I propose that you should have Boy friends, and not a Boy Friend at this point. Eventually it is possible your Boy friend may become your Boy Friend. But for now, a Boy friend is the best choice. 
-Sapphire

Tests and Stress

Hey guys, so I just got home from taking the Psat. Every time a test comes round I get and bad feeling in my stomach and my moods turn to bipolar. This is stress. A few of my friends can testify to my reactions yesterday. Anyways, stress isn't something you should worry about it's natural. It's when stress controls you that it is wrong. Sometimes stress gets so bad I have to take medication. But other than that, I generally listen to music, doodle, talk to friends, or just do what I enjoy! Anyways I need to do school for my Co-op. How do you overcome Stress? I'd love to find out!
-Sapphire

Relationships: Back Handed Friends

I have multiple friends whom I call "My friends." At least I believe they are. I may have a misconceived notion of what a friend is, so let me spell it out. A friend is someone who is there for you. A friend is someone who will build you up. A friend is someone who loves you. 
Like I said, maybe I have a misconceived notion of friendship, but I don't think a few of my friends are truly my friends. 
I have many friends who will make slighted comments which will send me into a state of tears when I think of it later. These friends have implied I am ugly, I am an overachiever, I'm different, I'm too sensitive, and not any of these in nice ways. 
My friend whom I confide in state that they are Jealous or maybe even just not my friends. 
But they are. I know they are my friends, why do they treat me like garbage?
What makes it worse is that these people claim to serve the same person I do, Christ. They claim they have the Holy Spirit inside them. But why? Why can I see  Christian and a non christian standing side by side talking about the same thing and I don't see a difference. Why do Christians and non-Christians tear people down? Why can I see a kid I thought I respected make negative racist jokes. Am I suppose to stand back and watch you tear other people down? I understand, yes, some people are overly sensitive. Yes, I understand, what you say is in jest. But sometimes when people say one thing they mean another. Maybe that black girl who laughed it off is going to go and cry when she gets home. Maybe she's better at hiding her feelings. You expect me to stand back and watch? 
You say I'm too sensitive? Though that word hurts, as it was meant to be an insult, I will wear that word with pride until you quit acting like the world. I will defend my friends, no matter what you or anyone says. I hate myself every time someone calls me ugly. I hate myself every time someone calls me too sensitive. I hate myself every time I'm told I'm different. I will not stand by while my friends are being subject to this abuse!
So, why do these friends treat us this way? I honestly don't know, and I suspect I never will. I know my response when they treat my friends a way, but I don't know my own response. 
Thanks for listening to my rant.
-Sapphire