I'm not Jealous because

I'm not Jealous because of your beautiful blond hair with perfect curles, or your friends perfectly straight hair.
I'm not Jealous because of your blue eyes while mine are a dull brown.
I'm  not Jealous because you are developed more and look like your twenty, while I look my age.
I'm not Jealous because of your confidence, or your gifts, because I have mine too.
I'm jealous because you fit in. People accept you for who you are, while I'm left wondering what I've done wrong.
I'm jealous because you always seem happy when I'm falling apart.
I'm jealous that when you cry, you have immediate people to lean on, while mine is miles away.
I'm jealous.
But, maybe I'm not
Maybe your hair isn't always in ringlets or perfectly straight, maybe you feel self concious or fine about yourself.
You know what? If golden hair perfectly straight or ringlets is what I need to have what I envy, then I don't want it. I don't want a lie.
I don't want bright blue eyes, when behind those eyes I know I'm being used.
I don't want to look more developed, because behind that, I'm used yet again.
I don't want your gifts and talents, because you know what? I have mine!
I don't want to fit in, because all of you are the same.
I don't want to seem happy, when my entire life is a lie.
I don't want to cry on someone's shoulder in public, and be alone when in private. I wouldn't give my true friend for the world.
So, maybe, I'm not as Jealous as I thought.
I'm not Jealous, because I'm not used. I live the truth, I am myself not who you want me to be.
So, I guess what I'm saying is, I don't want to be you, I just want to be me.
If you ever need anything, I'm always here.
And that is the honest truth, because, I'm not Jealous anymore.