Tests and Stress

Hey guys, so I just got home from taking the Psat. Every time a test comes round I get and bad feeling in my stomach and my moods turn to bipolar. This is stress. A few of my friends can testify to my reactions yesterday. Anyways, stress isn't something you should worry about it's natural. It's when stress controls you that it is wrong. Sometimes stress gets so bad I have to take medication. But other than that, I generally listen to music, doodle, talk to friends, or just do what I enjoy! Anyways I need to do school for my Co-op. How do you overcome Stress? I'd love to find out!
-Sapphire

Relationships: Back Handed Friends

I have multiple friends whom I call "My friends." At least I believe they are. I may have a misconceived notion of what a friend is, so let me spell it out. A friend is someone who is there for you. A friend is someone who will build you up. A friend is someone who loves you. 
Like I said, maybe I have a misconceived notion of friendship, but I don't think a few of my friends are truly my friends. 
I have many friends who will make slighted comments which will send me into a state of tears when I think of it later. These friends have implied I am ugly, I am an overachiever, I'm different, I'm too sensitive, and not any of these in nice ways. 
My friend whom I confide in state that they are Jealous or maybe even just not my friends. 
But they are. I know they are my friends, why do they treat me like garbage?
What makes it worse is that these people claim to serve the same person I do, Christ. They claim they have the Holy Spirit inside them. But why? Why can I see  Christian and a non christian standing side by side talking about the same thing and I don't see a difference. Why do Christians and non-Christians tear people down? Why can I see a kid I thought I respected make negative racist jokes. Am I suppose to stand back and watch you tear other people down? I understand, yes, some people are overly sensitive. Yes, I understand, what you say is in jest. But sometimes when people say one thing they mean another. Maybe that black girl who laughed it off is going to go and cry when she gets home. Maybe she's better at hiding her feelings. You expect me to stand back and watch? 
You say I'm too sensitive? Though that word hurts, as it was meant to be an insult, I will wear that word with pride until you quit acting like the world. I will defend my friends, no matter what you or anyone says. I hate myself every time someone calls me ugly. I hate myself every time someone calls me too sensitive. I hate myself every time I'm told I'm different. I will not stand by while my friends are being subject to this abuse!
So, why do these friends treat us this way? I honestly don't know, and I suspect I never will. I know my response when they treat my friends a way, but I don't know my own response. 
Thanks for listening to my rant.
-Sapphire

Fashion Sense:Oh baby it's cold outside

Everyone loves that time of year. It gets cold out, sweaters emerge from the closet, and hot chocolate is consumed every day. Well, if you don't love it. I do. Anyways, I went to a local fair to play some violin with my class, my family and I were walking around and we ran across this amazing Shaw/Poncho sweater. It was $20 and was really cute. Anyways, its modest, cute and well priced. A perfect accessory for the winter months. 

BTW do you like the new background for the blog? 
Let me know in the comments below.
-Sapphire

Relationships: Parents

I have a strong relationship with my parents, even stronger still with my mom. I talk to her day in and day out about my feelings, concerns, and trivial stuff. When I talk to my friends, they are often surprised to hear about my relationship, as though it was abnormal, or ridiculous to be able to talk to my parents about everything. So, I have decided to compile a short list of ways to maintain/regain your relationship with your parents. 

1. Truth. 

All relationships are built on Trust, without that you have nothing. Think about it this way. Imagine a large bridge and it is built out of bricks (Trust) when you lie or mislead it destroys the bridge completely. It is like a bomb detonating, everything is turned to rubble. The problem is that you cannot use new materials, you have to use the same materials over, and over, and over again. The more someone breaks your trust, the weaker the bridge will forever be. 

2. Talk 

I talk for hours with my mom and am never satisfied. You may say that your parents do not have enough time, or love you enough to take that time. To be honest, there are a few parents out there, but this is where you need to try. Sit one of your parents down and just tell them what you want to talk to them about. Tell them that you need them to be there for you, and that you need them to listen. That leads me to the next point. 

3. Listen. 

I know, I know. Your parents are 30-40 years old and they just do not understand, but there is no point in talking to your parents if you are not willing to consider their advice. I learned that the hard way. 

I was good friends with a guy, and that was the time I did not have feelings, I was about to enter that stage, I was 9, and this boy was mean to me and then apologized and started being nice to me. I was at youth camp and my 2 friends (At the time I thought they were my best friends) were talking with me, and I ended up telling them about the guy and him being mean then apologizing then being nice to me. They asked me if I liked him, and I said yes (As a friend). Later that day he confronted me saying he did not want a relationship and that he just wanted to remain friends, I was confused, angry, and upset. My best friends had told him something that was not even true! It ended up that the guy and I did not talk again for four years. I barely talk to him now, but things are resolved. 

How does this have to do with my mom? Well, she had recently started talking to me about how girls acted at this age and how if I want to keep my relationships with guys (Specifically those I have crushes on) I should not hint, nor tell any girls about it. But I have learned that every single time I have ever told a girl about a guy I like, I have gotten hurt. 

I am also like most of you. I have broken my parents trust. I have done things I wish I had not and am currently paying the consequences. 

Anyways, I hope this helps. Comment or email me with your thoughts! I might do a question and answer blog post soon, so email me those questions you want to feature in it!

-Sapphire

Dear Sir, who believes courtship is fundamentally flawed

About a month ago a man by the name of Thomas Umstattd wrote an article titled 'Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed.' This blog post is my response. In no way do I mean any disrespect, but my view differs.
First, I would like to point out that the basic philosophy behind your arguments is flawed. I would like to point out the purpose of Courtship, is not necesarily an engagement, the purpose of courtship is to have the suitor (The guy) to spend time with the family, and the family with the suitor. The possibility of marriage might result, it might not. The purpose of this, is that when one gets married, it will affect more than the man and woman. It will affect both families. It would be ideal to have someone your parents approve of.
The promise of courtship, is not to provide ultimate happiness, or to promote a divorce free marriage. It is merely meant to get to know someone, and not nesesarily on an intimate level, although that might happen.
I agree with most of the definition of Courtship, but I would wish to change is a bit and contest a point. (Bolded and in Red)

• "The man must ask the woman’s father’s permission before pursuing the woman romantically." (He should ask the father before pursuing the woman at all!)
• High accountability (chaperones, monitored correspondence, etc). 
• Rules about physical contact and purity. (The specific rules vary from community to community).
• The purpose of the courtship is marriage. (The purpose is to get to know both parties, with the possibility of marriage in mind, but it is not the purpose.)
• High relational intentionality and intensity. (This may result, of course you talk about deeper subjects when marriage is a possible prospect, but it is not the purpose.)
• High parental involvement. Fathers typically hold a “permission and control” role rather than the traditional “advice and blessing” role held by their fathers."

The purpose of dating. 

Of course I understand the argument for traditional dating, in fact I beleive that in the way you defined it I am doing exactly that. (But not to specifically do that, we just end up hanging out at the places we gather with a ton of our friends.)

The problem is the the Idea of Dating has changed over time. The general idea of dating from a worldl aspect is

• Parental uninvolvement (Not always the case)
• Get to know the other person
• Hang out
• Sex

In society today dating is looked at as things such as bedhopping, or 'friends with benefits.' (This does not reduce temptation)

Not asking the father.

I honestly have to say my first response to this is ferocity, I hated the fact of advocating not asking my father, and that me saying going to my dad meant I was not interested. I will tell any guy any day to go talk to my dad when I am old enough to Court.

What is being advocated is circumventing MY FATHER!!!!

The one that my Lord, and Savior Jesus Christ, lay in protection of me. My friend posted a different responce from a guys stand point. He got a lot of negative feed back. Friends were criticizing him for taking the stance that the man should ask the father to have any relationship with his daughter. My father decided to comment with this, I approved it before he even posted it! My father cares for me, and is protecting me. 

  "A husband should be a Christian, must be the priest, prophet, protector, and provider. It is my responsibility, as the father, to first model this in my life to my daughter, but also to ensure that I seek biblical manhood in her potential husband. The word of God lays down clear requirements as to the responsibility of fathers. Fathers are the head of the family. To consider, as a believer, to circumvent the responsibility of the father in order date or court has shown great disrespect toward that father. I would not loan my automobile to a young man without him first seeking permission and me first getting to know his character as a driver. How much more precious is my daughter than any piece of metal. Remember guys, until I stand and say "her mother and I" on the day of her wedding, I am the one responsible for her to the God that gave me that responsibility. Sorry guys, I take that responsibility seriously. Therefore, whether you like it or not, you come through me to my daughter. Call me the dragon."

In conclusion I hope you find this article enlightening, and persuasive. I honestly stand behind what I have just stated. Again, no disrespect intended to Mr. Umstattd.

Love, the girl who is looking forward to courtship, marriage, a family involved in her relationships, and a young man who is brave enough to face the dragon for me. Sapphire.

If you have not read the Article 'Why courtship is fundamentally flawed.' this is the article I am responding to.

http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2014/08/courtship-fundamentally-flawed/

    

Currently reading: The Stolen Princess.

I have recently returned from a confrence and while there my parents ran across a booth run by Mr. Wilson. My dad bought a book by Mr. Wilson's daughter, Katherine Wilson. It is called 'The Stolen Princess.' To put it simple, so far, it is amazing. Review to come soon.

Book Reviews: The Beginning (What I'm going to do with these reviews)

As an avid reader, I have many friends who tell me a certain book is good and to be honest, when I read it, I am perturbed by the ideas in the book. It isn't that the book is not good, but that the ideas portrayed in the books are somewhat scary. Whether the ideas are sexuality, profanity, or otherwise, I am greatly disturbed. Yet, I find myself continuing to read. So, if you find yourself looking on my Blog for a book review, please do not take my harsh, critical observations as a hating, but as a warning to fellow readers. Our generation needs to think past what they are writing, and more about what the book actually means! And to just as an added bonus, I am adding a video by a boy named Riaz Lane. He does a Humerous Interpretation on All the Great Books, Abridged  By Reed Marting & Austin Tinchenor. Even though these aren't the exact meaning of the books, this is possibly one of the best ways of looking at book.  It is quite the Humerous Interpretation I might say. -Sapphire
P.S. If you want me to do a book, just comment and I'll try my best to do so