Dear little girl just like me.

Dear little girl just like me.
Today I watched as you played with the other children., running around with the boys and tackling a ball, You are part of their world, but you're also part of mine. You are both a boy and girl in one and often others misunderstand that. Just because you're a girl doesn't mean you can't play football, and just because you play football doesn't mean you're not a girl. You are stuck in between and I understand it well. I watch as you try to fit into both worlds. You eventually give up and run with the boys not caring what the repercussions might be. Now you're older and you want to fit in. You still like to run, and jump, and play with boys, but now you're maturing and entering a new world. Your identity is stuck to you. You're just like the other boys now. Often you are complimented on how well you tackle a ball, and seldom your looks. I watch your face drop as you watch the other girls told things you are not. I understand it, I understand it all. You look for recognition for more than just your affiliation, yet you find none. I watched your face light up when I called you over, I'm only a few years older than you. 
But when I look at you, I don't see a boy, not even a girl, but a beautiful young lady behind that smile. You're beautiful, and not to be compared to. I watched as your face lit up when you were told "You're Beautiful." And when you ran off a skip was in your step, and you were happier that day. 
You see you're not alone, I know how you feel. You're not rejected nor catagorized in a boys field. You are a girl with a great personality, beautiful looks, and a whole life ahead of you. 
So next time you think that your not pretty and smart, just remember what I told you and look to you're heart. 
Dear little girl who is just like me. I hope you take this to heart and learn to be free. 

Relationships: Back Handed Friends

I have multiple friends whom I call "My friends." At least I believe they are. I may have a misconceived notion of what a friend is, so let me spell it out. A friend is someone who is there for you. A friend is someone who will build you up. A friend is someone who loves you. 
Like I said, maybe I have a misconceived notion of friendship, but I don't think a few of my friends are truly my friends. 
I have many friends who will make slighted comments which will send me into a state of tears when I think of it later. These friends have implied I am ugly, I am an overachiever, I'm different, I'm too sensitive, and not any of these in nice ways. 
My friend whom I confide in state that they are Jealous or maybe even just not my friends. 
But they are. I know they are my friends, why do they treat me like garbage?
What makes it worse is that these people claim to serve the same person I do, Christ. They claim they have the Holy Spirit inside them. But why? Why can I see  Christian and a non christian standing side by side talking about the same thing and I don't see a difference. Why do Christians and non-Christians tear people down? Why can I see a kid I thought I respected make negative racist jokes. Am I suppose to stand back and watch you tear other people down? I understand, yes, some people are overly sensitive. Yes, I understand, what you say is in jest. But sometimes when people say one thing they mean another. Maybe that black girl who laughed it off is going to go and cry when she gets home. Maybe she's better at hiding her feelings. You expect me to stand back and watch? 
You say I'm too sensitive? Though that word hurts, as it was meant to be an insult, I will wear that word with pride until you quit acting like the world. I will defend my friends, no matter what you or anyone says. I hate myself every time someone calls me ugly. I hate myself every time someone calls me too sensitive. I hate myself every time I'm told I'm different. I will not stand by while my friends are being subject to this abuse!
So, why do these friends treat us this way? I honestly don't know, and I suspect I never will. I know my response when they treat my friends a way, but I don't know my own response. 
Thanks for listening to my rant.
-Sapphire

Relationships: Parents

I have a strong relationship with my parents, even stronger still with my mom. I talk to her day in and day out about my feelings, concerns, and trivial stuff. When I talk to my friends, they are often surprised to hear about my relationship, as though it was abnormal, or ridiculous to be able to talk to my parents about everything. So, I have decided to compile a short list of ways to maintain/regain your relationship with your parents. 

1. Truth. 

All relationships are built on Trust, without that you have nothing. Think about it this way. Imagine a large bridge and it is built out of bricks (Trust) when you lie or mislead it destroys the bridge completely. It is like a bomb detonating, everything is turned to rubble. The problem is that you cannot use new materials, you have to use the same materials over, and over, and over again. The more someone breaks your trust, the weaker the bridge will forever be. 

2. Talk 

I talk for hours with my mom and am never satisfied. You may say that your parents do not have enough time, or love you enough to take that time. To be honest, there are a few parents out there, but this is where you need to try. Sit one of your parents down and just tell them what you want to talk to them about. Tell them that you need them to be there for you, and that you need them to listen. That leads me to the next point. 

3. Listen. 

I know, I know. Your parents are 30-40 years old and they just do not understand, but there is no point in talking to your parents if you are not willing to consider their advice. I learned that the hard way. 

I was good friends with a guy, and that was the time I did not have feelings, I was about to enter that stage, I was 9, and this boy was mean to me and then apologized and started being nice to me. I was at youth camp and my 2 friends (At the time I thought they were my best friends) were talking with me, and I ended up telling them about the guy and him being mean then apologizing then being nice to me. They asked me if I liked him, and I said yes (As a friend). Later that day he confronted me saying he did not want a relationship and that he just wanted to remain friends, I was confused, angry, and upset. My best friends had told him something that was not even true! It ended up that the guy and I did not talk again for four years. I barely talk to him now, but things are resolved. 

How does this have to do with my mom? Well, she had recently started talking to me about how girls acted at this age and how if I want to keep my relationships with guys (Specifically those I have crushes on) I should not hint, nor tell any girls about it. But I have learned that every single time I have ever told a girl about a guy I like, I have gotten hurt. 

I am also like most of you. I have broken my parents trust. I have done things I wish I had not and am currently paying the consequences. 

Anyways, I hope this helps. Comment or email me with your thoughts! I might do a question and answer blog post soon, so email me those questions you want to feature in it!

-Sapphire

Dear Sir, who believes courtship is fundamentally flawed

About a month ago a man by the name of Thomas Umstattd wrote an article titled 'Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed.' This blog post is my response. In no way do I mean any disrespect, but my view differs.
First, I would like to point out that the basic philosophy behind your arguments is flawed. I would like to point out the purpose of Courtship, is not necesarily an engagement, the purpose of courtship is to have the suitor (The guy) to spend time with the family, and the family with the suitor. The possibility of marriage might result, it might not. The purpose of this, is that when one gets married, it will affect more than the man and woman. It will affect both families. It would be ideal to have someone your parents approve of.
The promise of courtship, is not to provide ultimate happiness, or to promote a divorce free marriage. It is merely meant to get to know someone, and not nesesarily on an intimate level, although that might happen.
I agree with most of the definition of Courtship, but I would wish to change is a bit and contest a point. (Bolded and in Red)

• "The man must ask the woman’s father’s permission before pursuing the woman romantically." (He should ask the father before pursuing the woman at all!)
• High accountability (chaperones, monitored correspondence, etc). 
• Rules about physical contact and purity. (The specific rules vary from community to community).
• The purpose of the courtship is marriage. (The purpose is to get to know both parties, with the possibility of marriage in mind, but it is not the purpose.)
• High relational intentionality and intensity. (This may result, of course you talk about deeper subjects when marriage is a possible prospect, but it is not the purpose.)
• High parental involvement. Fathers typically hold a “permission and control” role rather than the traditional “advice and blessing” role held by their fathers."

The purpose of dating. 

Of course I understand the argument for traditional dating, in fact I beleive that in the way you defined it I am doing exactly that. (But not to specifically do that, we just end up hanging out at the places we gather with a ton of our friends.)

The problem is the the Idea of Dating has changed over time. The general idea of dating from a worldl aspect is

• Parental uninvolvement (Not always the case)
• Get to know the other person
• Hang out
• Sex

In society today dating is looked at as things such as bedhopping, or 'friends with benefits.' (This does not reduce temptation)

Not asking the father.

I honestly have to say my first response to this is ferocity, I hated the fact of advocating not asking my father, and that me saying going to my dad meant I was not interested. I will tell any guy any day to go talk to my dad when I am old enough to Court.

What is being advocated is circumventing MY FATHER!!!!

The one that my Lord, and Savior Jesus Christ, lay in protection of me. My friend posted a different responce from a guys stand point. He got a lot of negative feed back. Friends were criticizing him for taking the stance that the man should ask the father to have any relationship with his daughter. My father decided to comment with this, I approved it before he even posted it! My father cares for me, and is protecting me. 

  "A husband should be a Christian, must be the priest, prophet, protector, and provider. It is my responsibility, as the father, to first model this in my life to my daughter, but also to ensure that I seek biblical manhood in her potential husband. The word of God lays down clear requirements as to the responsibility of fathers. Fathers are the head of the family. To consider, as a believer, to circumvent the responsibility of the father in order date or court has shown great disrespect toward that father. I would not loan my automobile to a young man without him first seeking permission and me first getting to know his character as a driver. How much more precious is my daughter than any piece of metal. Remember guys, until I stand and say "her mother and I" on the day of her wedding, I am the one responsible for her to the God that gave me that responsibility. Sorry guys, I take that responsibility seriously. Therefore, whether you like it or not, you come through me to my daughter. Call me the dragon."

In conclusion I hope you find this article enlightening, and persuasive. I honestly stand behind what I have just stated. Again, no disrespect intended to Mr. Umstattd.

Love, the girl who is looking forward to courtship, marriage, a family involved in her relationships, and a young man who is brave enough to face the dragon for me. Sapphire.

If you have not read the Article 'Why courtship is fundamentally flawed.' this is the article I am responding to.

http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2014/08/courtship-fundamentally-flawed/

    

Maturity Levels

You may have noticed the title, and no I do not mean as in bodily growth, what I do mean is mental.
The One thing I HATE to hear from people is "I am mature for my age" When they are obviously not. I just want to stare at them and tell them "Then Why are you flirting with every guy/girl you meet? Are you serious? Come on, you act your age, and not the mature one, but the one that the world expects you to be."
Another phrase I hear is, "I'm smarter than people think I am." Just like the previous comment, this means that people are so insecure that they have to repeat it, and it makes it worse when you make no comment about how smart they are.
The common teenager calls themselves mature, expects to be treated as mature, yet act immature.
But, this is not the fault of merely the teenager (I am not shifting blame in any way), but it can mostly be attributed to the lower expectations of adults. Yet, we still have the choice to act mature, though we do not.
Maybe, just maybe. If we act more mature than the rest of the crowd, we can be treated as though we were Mature...
Just random thoughts for you to chew on. :)
-Sapphire
Disclaimer: If you are my friend, I am not aiming it at you. If you see yourself in the picture I just painted, maybe its time for a change, but otherwise, this is just due to observations.

Revolution: From Adult to Child of the Centuries

Let's be honest, the expectations of teens are not what they use to be. Back in the time of King Tutankhamen, he was a kid and was expected to rule all of Egypt! Okay maybe an example of centuries ago is not as effective, why don't we try our grandparents. When my Grandparents were teenagers, they could make a living for their family, they would work hard on a farm, or in school, or even with the house. They owned animals and were responsible for them. These kids couldn't wait to start a job to provide for their family! (I'm not saying there weren't a few in the bunch who were lazy)

Time went by and new laws came across, such as the Child Labour laws. Although the Child labor law was meant to protect children from being paid unfair wages, these children may not have known how to read and wright, but they certainly knew what a bit of money was even though they didn't know how much it was. The thing is, that during the 1800 there were hundreds of kids lining up in front of factories to work. These kids worked in all sorts of dangerous places forcing the government to do something about it.

 

Next came the machines, yes, when children worked there were machines, but after the children couldn't work, the factories needed some way to make their products. Because of this a machine was invented that could do ALL the work. Turning a job for 100 people into a job for 1 person. 

 Finally came the schools, the government is currently regulating laws that force your parents to send you to a school or at least educate you! If they don't you get taken away by the CPS! Now I'm not saying School is bad for you, but seriously they have been dumbed down to the lowest commen denominator! Meaning that almost anyone can pass the tests! WE HAVE BEEN DUMBED DOWN!

WE WILL NOT LET PEOPLE DUMB US DOWN! WE WILL RISE ABOVE THE NORM AND PROVE THEM WRONG!

What do you think? What are your ideas? Why not start this revolution?

-Sapphire