Promotion: Out of the Darkness fundraiser

Hello, one of my close friends is holding a fundraiser for 'Out of the Darkness' mission. Please donate to the cause it would make her so happy. And help hundreds of kids with Depressant and Suicidal backgrounds!
Donate Here:
https://fundly.com/stop-suicide-lt-3

-Sapphire

Relationships: Boy friend vs. Boy Friend

Over the past year and a half, I have become close friends with a few guys. Every time I do so someone has always asked me. "Are you two a couple?" or "Is he your Boy Friend?". No, I don't date, and I'm not in a relationship. I have Boy friends but not a Boy Friend. What is the difference between a Boy friends and a Boy Friend? A Boy friend is merely a close friend that is a guy. It's like calling your best friend your Girl friend. But you actually aren't in a relationship closer than a friendship. Now, what is a Boy Friend? A Boy Friend is like a significant other. Nothing less than a sweet heart. 
Now that these two have been defined. What's the deal?
As a teenage blogger. I look around and see CHILDREN my age dating. I have seen more broken hearts in the people I have seen having a BF or GF than in anyone who is Single. 
Anywho, I believe we should contrast the two.
A Boy friend is wonderful to have. They are not binded to you, yet they hang around! you can talk to them about personal issues instead, and you trust them. Often people with bast friends of the opposite gender are misconceived as having multiple significant others. When in reality, they are comforatable around the other gender and are willing to remain just friends. Who knows? Maybe the Boy friend with eventually become your Boy Friend!
Now, what about a Boy Friend? This guy is binded to you. Any actions he does around girls can be seen as cheating. And it stresses the relationship. You can't truly be comfortable around the opposite sex, without worrying about cheating.
Therefore I propose that you should have Boy friends, and not a Boy Friend at this point. Eventually it is possible your Boy friend may become your Boy Friend. But for now, a Boy friend is the best choice. 
-Sapphire

Relationships: Parents

I have a strong relationship with my parents, even stronger still with my mom. I talk to her day in and day out about my feelings, concerns, and trivial stuff. When I talk to my friends, they are often surprised to hear about my relationship, as though it was abnormal, or ridiculous to be able to talk to my parents about everything. So, I have decided to compile a short list of ways to maintain/regain your relationship with your parents. 

1. Truth. 

All relationships are built on Trust, without that you have nothing. Think about it this way. Imagine a large bridge and it is built out of bricks (Trust) when you lie or mislead it destroys the bridge completely. It is like a bomb detonating, everything is turned to rubble. The problem is that you cannot use new materials, you have to use the same materials over, and over, and over again. The more someone breaks your trust, the weaker the bridge will forever be. 

2. Talk 

I talk for hours with my mom and am never satisfied. You may say that your parents do not have enough time, or love you enough to take that time. To be honest, there are a few parents out there, but this is where you need to try. Sit one of your parents down and just tell them what you want to talk to them about. Tell them that you need them to be there for you, and that you need them to listen. That leads me to the next point. 

3. Listen. 

I know, I know. Your parents are 30-40 years old and they just do not understand, but there is no point in talking to your parents if you are not willing to consider their advice. I learned that the hard way. 

I was good friends with a guy, and that was the time I did not have feelings, I was about to enter that stage, I was 9, and this boy was mean to me and then apologized and started being nice to me. I was at youth camp and my 2 friends (At the time I thought they were my best friends) were talking with me, and I ended up telling them about the guy and him being mean then apologizing then being nice to me. They asked me if I liked him, and I said yes (As a friend). Later that day he confronted me saying he did not want a relationship and that he just wanted to remain friends, I was confused, angry, and upset. My best friends had told him something that was not even true! It ended up that the guy and I did not talk again for four years. I barely talk to him now, but things are resolved. 

How does this have to do with my mom? Well, she had recently started talking to me about how girls acted at this age and how if I want to keep my relationships with guys (Specifically those I have crushes on) I should not hint, nor tell any girls about it. But I have learned that every single time I have ever told a girl about a guy I like, I have gotten hurt. 

I am also like most of you. I have broken my parents trust. I have done things I wish I had not and am currently paying the consequences. 

Anyways, I hope this helps. Comment or email me with your thoughts! I might do a question and answer blog post soon, so email me those questions you want to feature in it!

-Sapphire

Dear Sir, who believes courtship is fundamentally flawed

About a month ago a man by the name of Thomas Umstattd wrote an article titled 'Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed.' This blog post is my response. In no way do I mean any disrespect, but my view differs.
First, I would like to point out that the basic philosophy behind your arguments is flawed. I would like to point out the purpose of Courtship, is not necesarily an engagement, the purpose of courtship is to have the suitor (The guy) to spend time with the family, and the family with the suitor. The possibility of marriage might result, it might not. The purpose of this, is that when one gets married, it will affect more than the man and woman. It will affect both families. It would be ideal to have someone your parents approve of.
The promise of courtship, is not to provide ultimate happiness, or to promote a divorce free marriage. It is merely meant to get to know someone, and not nesesarily on an intimate level, although that might happen.
I agree with most of the definition of Courtship, but I would wish to change is a bit and contest a point. (Bolded and in Red)

• "The man must ask the woman’s father’s permission before pursuing the woman romantically." (He should ask the father before pursuing the woman at all!)
• High accountability (chaperones, monitored correspondence, etc). 
• Rules about physical contact and purity. (The specific rules vary from community to community).
• The purpose of the courtship is marriage. (The purpose is to get to know both parties, with the possibility of marriage in mind, but it is not the purpose.)
• High relational intentionality and intensity. (This may result, of course you talk about deeper subjects when marriage is a possible prospect, but it is not the purpose.)
• High parental involvement. Fathers typically hold a “permission and control” role rather than the traditional “advice and blessing” role held by their fathers."

The purpose of dating. 

Of course I understand the argument for traditional dating, in fact I beleive that in the way you defined it I am doing exactly that. (But not to specifically do that, we just end up hanging out at the places we gather with a ton of our friends.)

The problem is the the Idea of Dating has changed over time. The general idea of dating from a worldl aspect is

• Parental uninvolvement (Not always the case)
• Get to know the other person
• Hang out
• Sex

In society today dating is looked at as things such as bedhopping, or 'friends with benefits.' (This does not reduce temptation)

Not asking the father.

I honestly have to say my first response to this is ferocity, I hated the fact of advocating not asking my father, and that me saying going to my dad meant I was not interested. I will tell any guy any day to go talk to my dad when I am old enough to Court.

What is being advocated is circumventing MY FATHER!!!!

The one that my Lord, and Savior Jesus Christ, lay in protection of me. My friend posted a different responce from a guys stand point. He got a lot of negative feed back. Friends were criticizing him for taking the stance that the man should ask the father to have any relationship with his daughter. My father decided to comment with this, I approved it before he even posted it! My father cares for me, and is protecting me. 

  "A husband should be a Christian, must be the priest, prophet, protector, and provider. It is my responsibility, as the father, to first model this in my life to my daughter, but also to ensure that I seek biblical manhood in her potential husband. The word of God lays down clear requirements as to the responsibility of fathers. Fathers are the head of the family. To consider, as a believer, to circumvent the responsibility of the father in order date or court has shown great disrespect toward that father. I would not loan my automobile to a young man without him first seeking permission and me first getting to know his character as a driver. How much more precious is my daughter than any piece of metal. Remember guys, until I stand and say "her mother and I" on the day of her wedding, I am the one responsible for her to the God that gave me that responsibility. Sorry guys, I take that responsibility seriously. Therefore, whether you like it or not, you come through me to my daughter. Call me the dragon."

In conclusion I hope you find this article enlightening, and persuasive. I honestly stand behind what I have just stated. Again, no disrespect intended to Mr. Umstattd.

Love, the girl who is looking forward to courtship, marriage, a family involved in her relationships, and a young man who is brave enough to face the dragon for me. Sapphire.

If you have not read the Article 'Why courtship is fundamentally flawed.' this is the article I am responding to.

http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2014/08/courtship-fundamentally-flawed/

    

Rumors and Rebuttles

(Please excuse all spelling errors, contractions, and grammar mistakes)

Have you heard the rumor?
Do you think it's true?
He said, she said it's all over school
It's drama, I can't believe that
Everybody's talking about someone else
Just to feel better about themselves1

I'm sure you know what a rumor is about, a rumor is defined by Merriam-Webster as

“Information or a story that is passed from person to person, but has not been proven to be true”
Maybe the rumor is about that girl in the corner, the nerd who always gets A’s, or maybe it has been about you. Whether there are Rumors circulating about you or you’re the one spreading them, rumors are never fun. Duh! I should know! I have probably started a few rumors, but I know there have been pleanty about myself. It never feels good.
Now, you might be wondering why I named this article Rumors and Rebuttles.
Well, because I want to speak about how to combat rumors.
A Rebuttal is generally a response to all arguments without bringing up new arguments.
1. Do it kindly
When you respond to someone saying something about someone never raise your voice, never look agitated, and above all else do not get defensive nor argumentitve. I know it is hard, but trust me.
2. Think!
If you think before you speak it will go a lot better for you. Just imagine an argument between two children.
“Are not.”
“Are too”
“Are not.”
“Are too”
“Are not.”
“Are too”
“Are not.”
“Are too”It gets repetitive and goes nowhere fast. If you can think of an actual reason that the rumor is wrong then explain it!
3. Go on with your business
If the Rumor is not true, act as though it means nothing to you and is childish. When you take the higher road it ends up that others will notice. Now the rumors may not stop but they eventually will become less, merely because the people starting the rumors will realize they can’t hurt you with their falsehoods.

Anyways, if you have any stories about how you combatted a rumor, write it in the comment section below! I’d love to hear your feedback!


1.Pure NRG Girls can change the world.

Revolution: Loneliness

How many of you feel lonely? *Looks around and raises my hand* In fact I have thought about self Harm. I have even thought about commiting suicide... I understand that this is something people just don't talk about, but it needs to be talked about! Those of us who are lonely think that we are alone in this fight, but you know what? WE ARE NOT! We tell oursleves we are alone in this fight! That no one cares about us. That if we died today no one would miss us! Then Satan uses that lie to get at us to knaw at our hearts and eventually we will fall so deeply into the darkness, it will seem impossible to get back out. I experienced rejection from people I thought were my friends! I know how it feels. But we need to remember that there are others out there, just like us who think they are alone...I released my story to a few of my friends and three people responded to me telling me they had felt the same way! And had even gone further than I had. They were the most amazing people in the world! I would never have thought that they had those feeling! They had put on a mask like I had and we all knew each other pretty well, but had never known this.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
-Sapphire